Tuesday, 8 November 2016


The new video for the second song belowwhere is the love is more challenging than the same question asked here, because the one, about all the conflicts etc of today, the same racism and bigotry, hatred, Icould go on. But it had a special meeting for me this week as I was still in shock over my friends suicide. She's left a young kid, I feel so sorry. But my friend Cassandra phoned me up today and made me laugh, giggle to the point of tears! Oh it won't be long til we meet, and I think her lively sense of humour versus my almost dark will actually be a good blend, it already is. 
Back to the video, the old one, I believe is asking you to ask others where the live is, but the new 
online (which can't be played here in uk yet) I truly believe they are asking ask to ask our own self where is the love. And that's what got to me, that I thought last week I could have somehow stopped 
her, and was I heartless for not doing more? As it turns out my friend had deleted my comment to her, and also her she was not paying attention to most people's comments. I believe (in hindsight) that she had decided that was the day to end her life.
Am I guilty for thinking she is one strong enough? Was there a chance I could have stopped her? Her last post was her saying she feels alone. 24hrs later we all found out. 
I can be a great friend to people and have long wanted to be a part of SOMETHING, but suicidal 
people crack me. The minute they start talking about their reasons to die, I go into a state of panic (on 
the inside) but hardly a word can come out of my mouth, I babble like a 2 year old and the feeling they are having I somehow take onboard and feel myself, to where I become suicdal.
Maybe I need to learn where the love is in me to help people???


The song above I've posted as I'm seeing life differently. Mum says I'm "getting ill again" constant ringing and pitchy noises at my ears, my inability to sleep well, projectile vomiting with no notice. But I see my mistakes at how I've lead my life, and how other lead theirs. There is a hypocracy in all of us that we are doing right at one thing and gossiping or thinking to ourselves a judgement on people when we all ALL of  us have some part of our lives need changing. There's pros sly at least one aspect of  our mind body or spirit that we lie in our own ignorance to the journey that's life. 
I know, for example a sizeable part of my foot is numb becuae I don't drink right and very often forget my insulin and diabetic pills. I must change if I'm going abroad this year!!!

Here below is the original Where Is The Love  video I urge you to see the new one on 
YouTube!! Please!!!! 

I live the lyrics in this. 

This is one song I forced myself to listen to all this time to help me make sense of death, love , and what we should all be told during grief and mortality and what you should do: love.

For Cassandra my bestie!!! Xxx

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