Thursday, 3 November 2016

How to save a life?

"And I would have stayed up with you all night had I known how to save a life".

Just now, I've discovered one of my friends on Facebook killed herself.
Just this morning I was trying to get across to her how loved she is and how things would get better.
Well, they didn't. Maybe because she couldn't  wait to get out of the hell she was feeling for months. 
What I know is, she had been posting sad comments about how she wants to die "go off the grid" she wrote this morning.  I am so upset that me, someone who knows the signs of depression that 
consumes you, I didn't do more never even thought about consuming darkness you feel surrounding you. I'm thinking should I have reported her posts to Facebook, let them be aware she is ill, then I think they let so much sickness on their site like happy slapping etc.
I'm overwhelmed, and scared for her soul. I feel even that I was a part of this tragic ending because I DID NOTHING UNTIL TODAY!!!
You were a beautiful lady, very intelligent and you did what I tried hundreds of times but up you "succeeded".

Or did you.

Please people think carefully about what people say or write, even if you think your instinct is that 
that person is manipulative, or an attention seeker. I wasn't, my friends were not, and you, you lovely lady who made something too deep inside to deal with any longer, I pray God ypu will be in heaven. 
I couldn't save her life. Mum,for the next few days will be praying my grief doesn't push me back. But I don't care about me, I care about those alive who wish they were dead. YOU ARE LOVED. 
Our hearts think of everyone right now. 
Oh Lord, if I could help people successfully that they found You. 
Please give people hope.

I know this will be hard to read , but this song is for my friend, the last song at my funeral, too. As I am not too well again, this has (probably selfishly, I'm aware) brought up my own feelings of my own suicide, as I have thought of it before 10years of age.

Well, God bless you, my friend, you will always be missed xxx

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