Wednesday, 27 January 2016

I'm sure you'll have some cosmic rationale

So today I've had to say goodbye to someone I used to like. Kind as the person can be, the mental health system can be cruel. 
They understand mental illness but not physical illness, it occurred to me today when I received what I believe was a harsh voicemail. 
"Do you still need to see a support worker since you haven't seen one in 6 weeks?".
They know full well I've been ill physically for a year undiagnosed. I've seen them more often than not, even when I spent a fortnight without eating absolutely anything.
Then when my physical pain got too much, combined with some embarrassing symptoms that I refuse to mention here just yet, are they thinking "it's physical but who cares we can get rid of her and add others to our books"? 
It felt like a huge slap in the face and rejection, potential abandonment and a total lack of empathy from them. 
So I rang them back! Told the person in question how I'd like to see a different person altogether, hopefully this one will not make promises they don't intend to keep or tell me to wear fancy knickers.
I'm sick of the lot of them right now. 
Now I do understand that under the new crappy nhs regulations seeing your cpn more than 12 times a year is practically impossible, but I hope she will contact me soon as I don't want to lose her. 
But as for the person who has upset me, pressure comes in all forms, not only mental.
And the lyrics to this video describes what I mean by that statement.
Good on you all, the people who are able to cope better with physical pain that's there constantly.
I adore you as much as I do with all my fellow friends and readers who experience mental health issues too. I'm trying hard not to give up right now.
Love to you all. Lizzie xxx

1 comment:

  1. Understandable, your suffering. And it DOES suck when you have needs that can't be met because of an umbrella regulation.....they need to do away wit that nonsense! And make no apologies for what you felt and your reactions because of it. If they are in your life for any length of time, then they should know what you're going through. Stay strong and know you're needed and wanted here.